“All he wanted to do was to make this man, this beautiful soul, crest in uncontrolled ecstasy.” (page 80)

Yes, you read that right. “Arrhichion of Phigalia” is the title of Chapter Four of the upcoming Cock Fight. I bet you’ve never read a blog entitled that before? Either you’re intrigued or you’re reliving school nightmares…

School nightmares.

They are the bane of my existence, the thorn in my every side, and my constant companion for the last sixteen years. I kid you not. Every freaking night they crawl up onto my pillow and bore themselves right into my head.

“Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the school nightmares… err, bed bugs bite.”

I should embroider me a pillow.

I’ve always dreamed. I’ve always remembered my dreams. Before being cold-cocked by my panic disorder, however, I only viewed them as a usually pleasant distraction from the dark. Kind of like television with a really screwy cable plan.

Now, it’s different.

Now, it’s real… or it was real. I get confused sometimes.

There was a lot of crap I went through at school when mental illness first took its hungry little nibbles out of my brain. I had no idea what was going on.

It was like waking up underwater. It’s a whole new reality you’re met with, a reality where there is no obvious up. And breathing like you’ve done your whole life doesn’t work anymore. It just makes you drown faster.

Yeah, it sucked.

But, really, does it have to suck again in 3D and surround sound every single night?

Apparently it does.

I know there must be a reason behind these dreams, a reason God makes me relive my greatest failure again and again.

There has to be.

But I’ll be the first to admit that my faith takes a heck of a beating with this one.

Until tomorrow…

Chloe Stowe

 


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