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It’s Release Day! And Hellesgate, Kansas is jumping. It’s rocking. Heck, Hellesgate would be filling up the sky with bottle rockets if the place didn’t have a long, sundry history with any word with “fire” in it.

Me? I’m sick to my stomach, have heart palpitations galore and keep getting lost in delusions of colossal failure. The pink elephant in the corner that keeps smiling at me I’m pretty sure isn’t supposed to be there and the voices in my head are spitting and calling each other ninnies. Yep, it’s release day and if I can’t be sedated through this, I’m more than happy to share some of its madness with you.

Just to be clear, before any frantic phone calls to the mental health officials are made, the pink elephant and the ninnying voices are only colorful exaggerations of the muted chaos currently tripping through my mind.

My nerves have never been ho-hum or hum-drum. There has always been a bright and blinding array of moods and colors to my anxiety. For instance, today is a fervent, jumpy kind of nervousness. My mind is pinging around my skull like some kind of freaking pinball desperate to find all the bumpers, be they one blaring success or “You f***ing suck!”

This kind of nervousness is easier to handle than most. It’s by no means pleasant but it is doable with the proper medication and the proper walls to bang my messed up head against. Also aiding in today’s mental health color scheme is the fact that I just signed the contract for the next two novels in the Hellesgate Series. Knowing that Matthew and Cane have enough interest backing them up to sustain books 4 and 5 is a huge appeasement to my pink elephant… you know, the one not sitting in my corner.

Before I start freaking out my readers and see the pity vote reflected in my book sales numbers, why don’t I leave you all to your own lives? One last request before I release you: please, help me spread the word about today’s release. Tweet, facebook, whisper “Shafts of Torchlight, Shafts of Torchlight” incessantly to your cubicle mate. Any help would be greatly appreciated on that front. Thanks.

I’m off to put the meat on the bones of my tenth novel for Ravenous: Stripped Asset. It should be released in early February so I will see you again real soon with more previews and more ugly truths. Thank you again for reading my words both here in my blog and in my novels. Never doubt for a moment that you guys feed my sanity. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Until next time…

Chloe Stowe


Tomorrow is the big day! Can you feel the excitement building? Is your heart warming up to a skip? Is the tension in your loins growing?... Now, anybody who thinks I’m referring to the Iowa Caucuses here needs a lot more mental assistance than I do. *smirks*

Shafts of Torchlight releases tomorrow and this much ballyhooed (by me, at least) blogging event will come to an end. Laughter and tears would be appropriate here. I’ll leave it to you which emotion to attach to which event. Any celebratory confetti at the ending of this blog I will bravely ignore and will go merrily on my delusional way.

So before giddiness erupts tomorrow, I figure we’ve got time for one more peek into my skewed mind and its accompanying screwed up life.


It’s a word that describes a lot of what happens when mental illness worms its way into your life. It eats its way through the strings that connect you to friends, until they become frayed, tattered and finally broken. You’re left feeling isolated, completely cut off from the life you once had. Some of these relationships, the strongest ones, can be salvaged. New strings can be formed, better ones that will weather any storm of nature or mind.

Other relationships are lost. It’s a slow, damning process that leaves an aching spot in your heart. A disconnect happens. Their lives go on, more or less, as planned. Weddings are had. Children are born. Career goals are met and exceeded… while your life stutters to a belly crawl. Yes, you still have goals and dreams but they are no longer the ones you shared with those friends. Your goals and dreams become inconceivable to them, while theirs become literally unattainable to you.

Disconnect: An irreparable shift in the foundations that the friendship was built upon. It’s a sad, painful ending to something that had one time been beautiful and strong.

Rat’s teeth on string… It’s mental illness in all its jaundiced glory.

Ok, enough of my fussing and definitely enough of the vermin. Today I choose to celebrate the accomplishment of my new goals and my new dreams. My ninth novel will be published tomorrow. I am so proud of that that I’m actually bursting at the seams. And while I can’t share that with certain lost friends, I can share it with you. I thank you for that.

Now, for the promised reveal of Book #5 of the Hellesgate Series which should be released in early September, 2012…

A Torch Kept by Chloe Stowe

There’s a lot of action, angst and some severe romance awaiting Matthew and Cane in this series. I sincerely hope you will follow along with their continuing story tomorrow. It’s going to be a bumpy but glorious ride, folks, but what else would you expect with Chloe Stowe at the wheel?

Until tomorrow, when this current blogging adventure rolls to its conclusion…

Chloe Stowe

“Fourteen?” You may be mouthing in horror. If you’re wondering what the heck you got yourself into when you started a preview blogging event with Chloe Stowe, just know I’m wondering the same thing. Yes, we’re well into delving into the teenage years of this fest and things might start getting a little dicey from here on out. Just fair warning, folks.

A good example is today’s post. While posted in the brand spanking new year of 2012, it was written square on the coattails of dusty old 2011. If I’ve somehow managed to stumble out of bed and got my morning fingers to work well enough to actually post this before orange juice and meds, you are in fact reading “old” Chloe, last year’s version. Already feeling nostalgic, huh? *grins*

Here, of course, would be the perfect place to do New Year’s Resolutions.

I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions.

While the whole reading world sighs in disappointment, let me explain to those who haven’t just abandoned me forever.

I do “resolutions” every day. I think most of us do.

I resolve every morning to actually dare to get out from under the safe covers and step bare feet into a world that has the potential of terrifying me to the core every half second or two.

I resolve every day to feed myself, even though the thoughts of putting food into my system and risking making myself violently ill has banished my appetite into the oblivion twenty odd years ago.

I resolve not to hate myself just because I can’t support myself fully independently with a 9-5 job that would put to use all those years of private school and college my parents shelled out their hard-earned money for. I resolve not to hate myself for being a burden, both financially and emotionally to my family (that’s the hardest one, people).

I resolve to seek out the sun and play in its warmth for as long as God and the beast of panic will allow. I resolve to stay out dancing in the sun way past those very same voices calling me back in.

I resolve to share my madness, be it utter or silly, with those willing to listen, willing to read, willing to care. I resolve to try every day to assure someone like me that they are not alone.

See? By twilight I’m as sick and tired of resolutions as you are of mine right now. *grins*

Now, since we are officially out of chapters of Shafts of Torchlight to preview before Tuesday’s big release day, as promised, I am thrilled to announce to the world the title of Book #4 of the Hellesgate Series, which should be released in early May…

The Torch Forsaken by Chloe Stowe

 I hope everyone is duly “Wow!”-ing. I sort of am because I really do love this title and the title to Book #5 which will be revealed tomorrow. Please, let me know what you think!

As there are sure to be hangovers needing to be nursed or Christmas trees that sadly must be taken down, I will let you my dear readers get back to your New Year’s.

Until tomorrow…

Chloe Stowe